FORT LAUDERDALE, FLA. (WSVN) - Revealing letters from Nikolas Cruz provide a glimpse into the confessed Parkland shooter’s life behind bars, as well as his thoughts about current affairs and what the future might hold for him.
The newly released letters, written to a girl from the United Kingdom called Miley, are peppered with drawings of smiley faces and stick figures. His handwriting is tiny and sometimes illegible.
In the long letters, he pines for Miley, writing in one of them, “I also want to know if you would be at my trial or [illegible]. I’m hoping you are because I really want to meet you, and it would make me happy.”
In another letter, Cruz wrote, “I am in search of long-lasting love, love that will last forever even when I’m gone … To be honest with you, I think it will never happen.”
In between writing about dreams of the future, he said, “A part of me is wishing it would end, end with the death pentale (sic), letting someone inject me with long last sleep. It’s kind of what I want.”
Cruz also shared anecdotes from his past. In a letter, he wrote, “When I was thirteen … I used to pull the fire alarms, bully teachers and break stuff … I was a bad kid … The only reason why I was, because I wanted attention and a girlfriend. I was really lonely and I didn’t get out much.”
He also wrote about spending time with his brother Zachary, writing, “As we got older, we got into different things. My thing was shooting, as you know … I used to hunt birds and squirrels.”
At one point, Cruz asked Miley, “Do you want children? I want 3 boys and girls. Maybe more LOL. The boys’ names will be Kalashnikov, (illegible), Remington.”
Cruz followed the 2018 elections from jail. He told Miley he was a supporter of Ron DeSantis.
“I can’t spell his name, but I know he’s Republican and I’m voting for him. I believe if we get a Democratic governor, he will take away our rights, and hope that won’t happen.”
The 20-year-old told the girl he’s a huge Second Amendment supporter. He also acknowledged the October 2018 Pittsburgh synagogue shooting, which left 11 people dead.
“I put my heart out to these victims and to the shooter because I believe they need all the support they can get,” he said in a letter.
But sometimes Cruz’s fantastical hopes of a normal life slip away. In a letter, he wrote, “I’ll never be loved and I’ll die alone.”
There was no inclusion of any letters Miley may have written to Cruz, so it remains unknown how much of a back-and-forth correspondence there was between them.
Cruz’s letters make no mention of the 17 Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students and teachers whom he confessed to having shot and killed in the Feb. 14, 2018 massacre.
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