“The Meg” is about a prehistoric shark finding its way to the surface in modern times — but is it gonna be good? Or just bite? Deco’s Johnnie-U has a look.

Hey, folks! Johnnie-U here, and I’m here with my review of “The Meg.” That means I get to go swimming — which calls for a costume change. How about a blue and green striped mankini?

All right, now, in this movie, a group of marine scientists in an underwater lab discover a deeper part of the ocean that holds life from prehistoric times — like giant sharks.

But the real mega problem is, when the scientists resurface, they unknowingly open the door for megalodon to escape the depths. So now they have to find a way to stop this killing machine from treating the human population as a buffet.

Well, guys, I was hoping that this movie would be so bad it would be good — but it’s just bad. It lacked the cheesy goodness that a movie about a huge computer-generated shark screams for. It needed to be a little campy and fun, but it was far too serious — and if that’s what they were going for, it still missed the mark.

There were no suspenseful, “Jaws” theme-type moments, not thriller excitement of the hunt, and to be honest, the special effects, even the shark itself, were very underwhelming.

Honestly, I was looking forward to this flick, but “The Meg” bites, so let me rescue you by saying, swim far away from theaters this weekend.

I’m Johnnie-U, and this has been my movie review.

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