Johnnie-U demolishes ‘Smurfs: The Lost Village’

Smurfette is one of several strong female heroines in theaters this weekend, but is Johnnie-U a fan of of the new “Smurfs” movie? We’re gonna let him tell you.

Hey, folks, Johnnie-U here! Here’s my take on the all-new animated feature “Smurfs: The Lost Village.” In this movie, Smurfette finds a map to the Forbidden Forest that was left behind by what she thought was another Smurf, so she and her friends — Hefty, Brainy and Clumsy — head off to find the lost city of the mysterious Smurfs.

(You know, Smurfs are named after their predominant characteristics. I think mine would be Handsome Smurf. Don’t think so? I can tell you it wouldn’t be Void of Emotion Smurf.)

But the problem is, the Smurf adventurers have to get there before the evil wizard Gargamel does. When they finally find the Lost Village, they discover that all the Smurfs are, in fact, female.

Folks, I’m a big kid at heart, but I gotta be honest. This movie is not Smurf-tacular. I thought it was extremely boring. It wasn’t funny at all. I was in a theater full of kids, and I didn’t hear much laughter.

The script and the story had nothing in it to keep the adults entertained. It felt like a cheesy Saturday morning cartoon stretched out to fit an hour and a half for no reason.

Folks, “Smurfs: The Lost Village” should have stayed lost. I say Smurf it, which means forget this flick.

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