Deco dared Johnnie-U to check out the new movie “Truth or Dare.” He accepted the challenge — but let’s see if he regrets watching it. Here’s the reliably truthful Johnnie-U with his review of the horror flick.
Hey, folks, Johnnie-U here, about to go see the new movie “Truth or Dare.” In honor of the movie, I’m going to take the dare of getting sprayed in the face with mace.
Owww! If I ever get my sight back, I’m gonna tell you guys all about this new horror flick.
All right, now, in this movie, a group of college friends head off to Mexico for some spring break fun. They meet up with a guy who takes them to an old church and gets them to play what seems to be a harmless game of truth or dare.
But let’s take a break from my review, as I take the dare of hugging 7Weather meteorologist Phil Ferro — on live TV! (That was really good. I liked that.)
Back to the movie. As it turns out, that truth or dare game is cursed — by some demon who won’t let them stop playing. If they break any of the rules or stop playing, they die!
But let’s get back to those poor victims-to-be in a sec — while I eat a whole jar of mayonnaise. (Hey, guys, you got any mustard?)
Well, folks, I have to tell the truth: This movie was ridiculously stupid! There was nothing scary about this so-called horror flick. The story was weak and felt rushed; they were just zipping through the truths and dares.
Oh, and the dares were so uncreative and dull. Not once did I flinch from the cheap genre tactics. I found myself bored throughout the movie.
When it comes to real-life dares, though, I draw the line at detergent pods. I don’t think so, guys. Can I change it to a truth?
Well, folks, I wouldn’t dare anyone to go see “Truth or Dare,” so I say skip it. I’m Johnnie-U, and this has been my movie review.
What that’s? My truth is to say who I find more attractive between Lynn and Chris? Hmmm. Can I get that detergent pod back?
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