If you think healthcare is scary now, wait until some real crooks start running things. That’s the case in “Hotel Artemis” — a hospital just for criminals. If you’re not careful, you could co-pay with your life!
Sterling K. Brown (as Waikiki): “Easy, fellas. Everybody’s gonna get fixed up.”
Jodie Foster (as The Nurse): “Verify your memberships and we’re off to the races.”
Set in a futuristic and riot-torn Los Angeles, “Hotel Artemis” isn’t about any ordinary hotel.
First of all, it’s a secret hospital for criminals.
Sofia Boutella (as Nice): “You’re an arms dealer, right?”
Charlie Day (as Acapulco): “Don’t push my buttons. Don’t you do that.”
And secondly, the place is run by Jodie Foster and Dave Bautista.
We asked the two stars what the hotel’s slogan would be … Ya know, like, “We’ll leave the light on for ya,” or something like that.
Dave Bautista: “Members only.”
Jodie Foster: “Yeah, members only.”
Dave Bautista: “Very exclusive.”
And not particularly welcoming!
But let’s hear what the cast has to say about their stay at the Artemis. What kind of Google review would they give it?
Sterling K. Brown: “If you follow the rules, you’ll be okay. I’d give them four stars.”
Brian Tyree Henry: “I would give them two-and-a-half and I would say use more bleach, because these sheets are still covered in blood.”
Charlie Day (as Acapulco): “You might wanna buy some scented candles or something, because it smells like somebody died in here.”
Jodie Foster (as The Nurse): “They did.”
Sofia Boutella: “TVs are not working. Yeah, it’s like three stars.”
Charlie Day: “You’d be like, ‘Terrible service!'”
Dave Bautista: “The person who left a Yelp review would not continue to exist very long.”
Jodie Foster: “Haha, that’s right.”
Dave Bautista: “It would be against the rules.”
Harsh, but fair.
We also wanted to know if anyone had a real-life hotel horror story.
Brian Tyree Henry: “I stayed at a hotel once where the first thing I felt was the door to get in and the handle was already sticky. Like, I had to open it and it was like slime. Best day I ever had, though!”
Jodie Foster (as The Nurse): “Busy night at the Artemis!”
“Hotel Artemis” creeps into theaters this Friday, June 8.
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