Gyllenhaal, Reynolds go off script talking about ‘Life’ matters

The name of a new sci-fi thriller is “Life,” but it’s really life and death. The movie looks at the discovery of life on Mars, and those life forms aren’t very friendly. But Deco’s Chris Van Vliet is! He flew to Austin, Texas to interview the stars of the movie — or at least he tried to.

The movie stars Ryan Reynolds and Jake Gyllenhaal. I had several questions prepared for my four- minute interview with them, but instead, we got a little bit of craziness and plenty of randomness.

Jake Gyllenhaal (as David Jordan): “This is Dr. David Jordan. Our mission is to intercept a research pod from Mars.”

“Life” takes places aboard the International Space Station. We follow a group of astronauts studying a single-cell organism from Mars.

Ariyon Bakare (as Hugh Derry): “We’re looking at the first proof of life beyond Earth.”

But it doesn’t remain a single cell for long.

Ariyon Bakare (as Hugh Derry): “Look how fast it’s growing. Every single cell is a muscle cell and a nerve cell.”

They give it a name: Calvin. But Calvin isn’t very nice.

Little did I know when I sat down with Jake and Ryan that I’d be the third wheel in a budding bromance.

Chris Van Vliet: “When you’re making the movie, do you know what Calvin looks like during the filming?”

Ryan Reynolds: “No. He did; I didn’t. Mostly because I wasn’t paying attention. It was right in front of me, and I still didn’t see it.”

And with that, things quickly — and hilariously — started going off the rails.

Jake Gyllenhaal: “We knew that it looked like sort of like an exclamation of snot, initially, but then it grows, and for me to legitimately look like Ryan, and it was in our imagination of the things that we feared.”

So, apparently Jake is scared of Ryan. So what’s Ryan scared of?

Ryan Reynolds: “All 37 Muppets.”

Chris Van Vliet: “Oh, terrifying.”

Ryan Reynolds: “Just like swap ’em out. Like ‘Grover! Oh, God! Oh, God!’ Are the puppets on ‘Sesame Street’ considered Muppets?”

Jake Gyllenhaal: “Yes.”

Ryan Reynolds: “I’m back now.” (laughs)

Then somehow the conversation turned to an 80s TV show.

Jake Gyllenhaal: “But ‘Fraggle Rock’ is questionable.”

Ryan Reynolds: “There’s a fine line there somewhere.”

Jake Gyllenhaal: “‘Cause those dudes are chillin’ in caves and rocks.”

Ryan Reynolds: “All I see is someone flashing ‘two minutes’ behind your head, and this poor guy going, ‘I’ve got nothing. I’m gonna have one question answered in this entire interview.'”

Jake Gyllenhaal: “But I will say that ‘Fraggle Rock’ is extraordinary.”

Jake is right: “Fraggle Rock” is extraordinary — and I’m just sitting back wondering where this interview will go next.

Ryan Reynolds: “And, to answer your actual question, maybe the only question you’ll get answered…”

Jake Gyllenhaal: “Why are you doing that?”

Ryan Reynolds: “What?”

Jake Gyllenhaal: “Hold on a second. Why are you doing that?”

Ryan Reynolds: “Did I just throw you under the bus? I apologize. How did the tires taste?”

Ryan Reynolds (as Roy Adams): “Let’s kill the thing.”

Ryan Reynolds: “No, we didn’t know what the alien looked like.”

Jake Gyllenhaal: “We’re still answering this question.” (laughs)

Ryan Reynolds: “But the alien behaves and reacts to each character differently.”

So there you have it: Sometimes you get your questions answered, and sometimes you don’t. And that, my friends, is “Life.”

The film opens in theaters Friday, March 24.

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