You know that age-old conundrum: what would you rather have, love or your legs? We went under the sea for an interactive, theatrical experience exploring that very deep question … but sorry, Ariel, this underwater kingdom is for adults only.

Deco’s Alex Miranda, who recently revealed his dreams of becoming an underwater basket weaver, has more.

Flounder, I don’t think we’re in a Disney movie anymore.

Sea witch [singing]: “They come to me with things deemed forbidden. The parts of their hungry hearts are hidden.”

The new Little Mermaid Cocktail Experience in Miami’s Upper Eastside…

Mermaid: “This is the tale of a mermaid so tired of swimming the sea.”

Isn’t for the kids, either.

Pirate: “Turn back now!”

But it’s just as much fishy fun.

Quincy Perkins, The Little Mermaid Cocktail Experience: “About half of the audience is dressed in mermaid outfits or coming with some sort of crab hat.”

Because you can also drink like a fish.

Quincy Perkins: “People have already come in a few drinks in, and I’m always wondering where they’re coming from.”

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere in the ocean, amiright?

The hour-and-a-half shows are based on Hans Christian Andersen’s timeless tale.

Quincy Perkins: “She has to decide between whether she wants love or whether she wants legs.”

He’s referring to Pearl, not Disney’s Ariel.

Quincy Perkins: “It’s really interactive and immersive.”

Mermaid: “Have you been to the land above before?”

Alex Miranda: “Yes, yes!”

Mermaid: “What did you see?”

Alex Miranda: “Traffic!”

Mermaid: “Traffic. That sounds magical!”

Who’s definitely over 21.

Mermaid [singing]: “How about a bottle of rum?”

Deal, although I would have signed my voice away for just one of these drinks.

Sea witch [singing]: “Poseidon is my witness. I can cure your sickness. I’m viciously ambitious, so let’s get down to business.”

Quincy Perkins: “Some of them come in little pirate jars, some of them come in treasure chests.”

The sea witch told me to pour only one drop of a sailor’s soul into this vial … but I couldn’t resist.

Alex Miranda: “Oh, I’m sorry. Oh, oh.”

Sea witch: “Premature a-sauce-ilation is a most terrible thing.”

Quincy Perkins: “They go along with the story as well.”

Just don’t sip until the seamen tell you.

Pirate: “Be considerate, ya scallywags! What did I just tell you? You don’t listen!”

Tickets start at 59 sand dollars.

Quincy Perkins: “We want people to get out of their chairs and sing and dance, so it’s a really good time.”

The Little Mermaid Cocktail Experience runs Thursday through Sundays. There are multiple shows a day.

The Little Mermaid Cocktail Experience
7610 NE 4th Court
Miami, FL 33138

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