(WSVN) - They say it takes two to tango… and lucky for me, the person I learned to actually tango with is a professional. Unfortunately for him, I am not.

Delusion got me into this mess.

Lynn Martinez: “I think I’m actually decent!”

The last time you saw me at my first dance lesson at Fred Astaire in Coral Gables — I was doing this…

Lynn Martinez: “Oh, sorry!”

I’m so much better now.

Lynn Martinez: “[Bleep], [bleep], [bleep]! I’m nervous!”

And my teacher Vladimir and I are really getting along.

Lynn Martinez: “You gotta tell me, ‘Three, two, one let’s go.'”

Vladimir Kosarev: “15 seconds!”

Lynn Martinez: “What does he think I am… a dancer?!”

No. That’s why we practice. A lot.

Vladimir Kosarev: “One, two, three, four, five and close.”

We’ll dance this Argentine tango together at the American Cancer Society Fundraiser, April 11th… if I make it till then.

Vladimir Kosarev: “Turn, hold, knees together!”

Lynn Martinez: “Oh, shoot!”

Knees together —

Back straight —

Act hot.

There’s a lot to remember.

Lynn Martinez: “This is the lift where he lifts my fat ‘bleep’ in the air.”

Vladimir Kosarev: “Turn, hold my neck and go down, hook.”

But my biggest challenge: Dancing with confidence.

Lynn Martinez: “That was… better.”

There are some surprises in the routine… like to me.

Vladimir Kosarev: “Turn… and lift.”

Lynn Martinez: “AHHHHH!!!”

He demonstrates with his wife, Vera.

Vladimir Kosarev: “And here… here…”

Lynn Martinez: “That’s how it’s supposed to look.”

Let’s try the walk and kick thing again.

Lynn Martinez: “Come to me!”

Vladimir Kosarev: “That’s already much better.”

From the top.

Walk with attitude…

Dip…

And turn with ze kneez together…

Spin…

Then, give the tango look.

Vladimir Kosarev: “Ha!”

The big gala is next Saturday. I’m gonna need a lot of practice before then, although there’s only so much time.

For more info or to donate, go to https://acsfdmia.ejoinme.org/2017ACSMiamiAnnualGala

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