Deco Drive’s got beef with Howard Stern

Deco Drive is feuding with Howard Stern. That’s right — Howard Stern. It. Is. On. Just because we ran a harmless little story about the radio star last week. Apparently, our show made Howard curl up in the fetal position and whine about Deco on the air for seven whole minutes. Satellite time must be really cheap!

Howard Stern: “Hate her and the other one.”

Something stinks around here.

It’s you, Howard Stern, and your alter ego, Fartman.

Luke Perry: “Ladies and gentlemen, Fartman!”

What has Howard in such a tizzy, talking about Deco Drive on his Sirius XM radio show the other day?

Howard Stern: “I’m so destroyed that you two hot chicks don’t think I’m hot enough for you.”

Hey, did you hear that?! Howard said Lynn and Shireen are hot!

Anyway, the so-called “King of All Media” is peeved about a little Deco story from last week.

Lynn Martinez: “When Howard Stern was lowered from the rafters onto the stage at the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards, the world at large was introduced to his alter ego: Fartman.”

Shireen Sandoval: “Oh look, his butt! You can see his butt! Is that a fake butt?”

Lynn Martinez: “No, it’s not a fake butt.”

Shireen Sandoval: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

Lynn Martinez: “I’m so sorry you had to see that.”

Howard Stern: “Ugh, what a condescending tone.”

In his seven-minute temper tantrum, Howard appeared to be wrong on multiple levels.

I mean, for one, we always poke fun at celebrities.

Not to mention…

Howard Stern: “Good luck in Jacksonville, honey, or wherever you’re broadcasting from, because that’s an important market.”

Just so you know, Howard, we’re not in Jacksonville.

We’re allllllll the way down here in the little known television market of Miami-Fort Lauderdale.

Howard Stern: “I guarantee you neither of these two ‘journalists’ have ever broken a story in their entire journalism career.”

Actually, Lynn is a freakin’ Emmy winner, baby!

Lynn even had a one-on-one with President Obama in the White House!

She shook hands with the pope!

Meanwhile, for years, Shireen’s been interviewing celebrities far more famous than Fartman ever was!

And by the way, the only reason we had a Fartman story in the show is because all these years later, the costume is going up for auction.

Lynn Martinez: “It’s expected to bring in $8,000 — about $7,999 too much.”

Howard Stern: “What is she saying, it’s worth a dollar? Oh, OK. She’s probably right about that.”

Good! Glad we could agree on something!

Maybe Howard got riled up because he needs a big, warm hug from Lynn and Shireen.

Copyright 2019 Sunbeam Television Corp. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.