What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newly-webs!

With all the chemistry Tom Holland and Zendaya have in the new “Spider-Man: No Way Home” movie, maybe that’ll happen sometime soon.

The plot is under wraps, but the cast told me we’re going to be screaming — guaranteed.

Peter Parker is in a pickle. In “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” his identity as the friendly neighborhood web-slinger has already been unmasked, meaning the poor guy has to balance his normal life with being a superhero — in tights! Sounds exhausting.

Tom Holland (as Peter Parker/Spider-Man): “This is all my fault. I can’t save everyone.”

But when Peter asks Doctor Strange for some help…

Benedict Cumberbatch (as Dr. Stephen Strange): “When you botched that spell where you wanted everyone to forget that Peter Parker is Spider-Man…”

The stakes become even more dangerous…

Benedict Cumberbatch (as Dr. Stephen Strange): “We started getting some visitors from every universe.”

As it turns out, the multiverse has really bad traffic.

Alfred Molina (as Dr. Otto Octavious/Doc Ock): “Hello, Peter.”

Tom Holland: “This movie is something that is celebrating over 20 years of cinema, which brings a multitude of possibilities, but also a multitude of problems. We have villains coming back. It’s incredible.”

Zendaya, who is Tom’s real-life girlfriend, plays MJ, Peter’s girlfriend … and if there’s an Oscar for falling off of buildings and bridges, can we just give it to her already?

Alex Miranda: “Your facial expressions were just giving me life.”

Zendaya: “Those are all very honest faces. I love it, especially when we get to do ones together. Those are the best ones, because it’s just so weird. Like, this is my life. You always step outside of yourself, and I’m like, ‘I can’t believe this is what I’m doing today.'”

But, hey, it’s a job just like anything else.

Zendaya: “Like, it should never be normal to anyone, but to us, it’s like, ‘Do you want me to pop your eyes back in? Or you want me to unzip?'”

Now, since we can’t spoil any surprises, instead I asked Jacob Batalon, who plays Peter’s best friend, Ned, what range of emotions you’ll go through.

Alex Miranda: And, if you’re brave enough, in chronological order.”

Jacob Batalon: “I think, from the get-go, it’s pretty already on the edge of their seats. We know for a fact that you’ll be screaming no matter what.”

Tom Holland: “Absolutely.”

Jacob Batalon: “Screaming, yeah, crying, peeing in your pants, probably.”

By edge-of-your-seat action, I didn’t know they meant that.

Zendaya: “A mixture of all of those things at the same time.”

Jacob Batalon: “So, probably wear a diaper in the movie theater. So, yeah.”

Tom and Zendaya have been low key about their highly publicized romance, but with their red-hot careers, it’s nice to have someone who … gets it.

Tom Holland: “For us, to have someone that you can lean on — that you can call up and say, ‘You know, I’m really struggling with this,’ or, ‘I’m really worried about this,’ you know, we’re very lucky that we’ve been through this as a team, and we very much are a team. So, yeah, it has been very helpful.”

There are rumors “No Way Home” might have cameos from past “Spider-Man” stars Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield. So far, the cast is denying it.

“Spider-Man: No Way Home” swings into theaters this Friday.

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