Think about your first jobs. Do you think they’d make a great movie? How about three?
Probably not. Boring! Unless you’re Kevin Smith, the creative mastermind behind the “Clerks” trilogy.
Deco’s Alex Miranda, who was let go from Abercrombie & Fitch in high school, has the story.
It’s true … and that might have made a good reality show.
“Clerks III” is finally here, and we’ve waited long enough. Silent Bob and the gang are back, but it’s not all just comedy. It’s heartwarming, too.
“Clerks III” is clocking in.
Jason Mewes (as Jay): “That’s how we did it in the ’90s, son!”
Even if you weren’t aware.
Kevin Smith: “Alex!”
Alex Miranda: “Oh, my!”
Worker: “You can go ahead and take it away.”
Jeff Anderson (as Randal): “Everything in the script is something either me or someone I know said.”
Fred Armisen (as himself): “I’m not.”
Sarah Michelle Gellar (as herself): “Even supposed.”
Ben Affleck (as himself): “To be here today!”
But are they still holding auditions?
Alex Miranda: “I’m not even supposed to be here today!”
Kevin Smith: “Nice.”
Kevin Smith wrote, produced, directed, edited and stars in the comedy.
Kevin Smith: “I think when people first hear, like, ‘Clerks III,’ it sounds like a homework assignment, and I think, when they get there, they’re going to be like, ‘Oh, my God! I didn’t know how badly I needed that.'”
This time, after suffering a massive heart attack…
Trevor Fehrman (as Elias): “Mr. Dante!”
Brian O’Halloran (as Dante): “I need an ambulance at the Quick Stop!”
Video store-turned-fast food cashier Randal calls on old friends Dante, Elias, Jay and Silent Bob…
Brian O’Halloran (as Dante): “What the hell is this?”
Jeff Anderson (as Randal): “I added a scene where you get shot.”
…to help him make a movie about his life at the shop.
Brian O’Halloran (as Dante): “What if there’s a sequel?”
Jeff Anderson (as Randal): “A sequel?! What am I, a hack?”
And if you’re fan of the “View Askewniverse” — that’s what you call all of Kevin’s movies — you already know this is the most meta franchise ever.
Kevin Smith: “Literally a biopic. It’s what my life looked like.”
Because he writes his real-life stories, but in other characters. Sure, he plays Silent Bob, but this time, Kevin’s spirit is really in Randal, even though he used to be more Dante. (Hope you’re not too confused.)
Kevin Smith: “I was like, ‘I don’t buy it. I don’t see Dante ever doing this sort of thing. It has to be Randal instead.'”
So, yes, that heart attack? Kevin really had it, and it almost killed him.
Alex Miranda: “Is this actual therapy for you?”
Kevin Smith: “As long as you’re alive, you get to write another page. As a 52-year-old man, I know what hearing [expletive] like that means, and from a guy who got close to the end, it’s like you tend to take it a bit more seriously.”
The trilogy is heavy on all that quirky humor these mallrats are famous for, but at times, just as heavy on the feels.
Alex Miranda: “The movie was so funny, but also brought me to tears.”
Kevin Smith: “Give them the movie they came to see — it’s a comedy and whatnot, continue the story — but then also give them some useful life tools, if you can, on the way out.”
“Clerks III” hits theaters this coming Tuesday — because, of course, they’d do something weird like that. That’s why we love them.
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