Halloween is a special time of year to us. It’s when no one’s really counting how many pounds of candy we have in our shopping carts, or how many bags of chocolate we’re eating alone in the car being sad … when we’re supposed to be doing important news stuff.

We know better than anyone precisely how much junk our bodies needs. Oh, and by the way, Alex Miranda’s at a haunted house.

Havana Haunted Mansion…

Actor: “I will be your servant for this evening.”

…isn’t your typical haunted house.

Kristina Drobachevskaia: “There’s a lot of haunted houses or parties. There’s nothing in between, so that’s why we came up with this.”

It is a Halloween experience, albeit an elevated one.

Set in and around the Historic Curtiss Mansion in Miami Springs, this storyline isn’t much of a stretch.

Kristina Drobachevskaia: “A hundred years ago, there was a Cuban family that lived here. and they used to run an illegal casino. They lost all their wealth, and they started doing a lot of dark rituals. and a lot of people disappeared and died in mysterious ways. So you’ve got to figure out what happened to everyone.”

But during this adults-only adventure, the vibe is more creepy than scary.

Guest 1: “Definitely an adult thing. The short guy with the dreads? Hilarious. I like a little dirty comedy.”

Actor: “Oh, you know, a little bit of pickpocket, a little bit of bumps in the head.”

Alex Miranda: “As long as you share the earnings, if you know what I mean.”

Actor: “Well, the house always wins.”

And sexy. Not everybody’s dead around here.

I think we all felt very much alive during one burlesque performance.

Guest 2: “The dancer just made the whole night for me, honestly. She was sexy, sultry.”

And with cocktails in every room.

Kristina Drobachevskaia: “Muy importante to have cocktails.

Guest 2: “This is ready to get the night started.”

Kristina Drobachevskaia: “We have five themed bars.”

Alex Miranda: “Five?! Ahh, yes!”

We all agreed this spicy margarita was killer.

Guest: 2 “It has a kick to it, definitely.”

Guest 3: “The drink is as spicy as the experience.”

Your inner Willy Chirino may come out … unless you’ve already committed to some other character.

Guests in costume: “I’m Esmeralda. Snow White. The Little Mermaid.”

Kristina Drobachevskaia: “We absolutely encourage dressing up.”

“Snow White”: “I was the first Disney princess.”

Alex Miranda: “That is correct.”

“Ariel”: “And then I’m the second.”

“Esmeralda”: “But I’m just saying I have the best hair out of all of us, so…”

Kristina Drobachevskaia: “Especially Havana style.”

Alex Miranda: “Tu sabes que en Cuba no hay fantasmas.”

General admission, with one complimentary drink, is $59, VIP with two complimentary drinks is $99, and a VIP ticket for two is $189.

Guest 3: “Spooky, sexy, sensual. A little bit of everything.”

Those VIP tickets come with the ability to skip the line out front.

Havana Haunted Mansion
Sept. 15 – Oct. 31
Historic Curtiss Mansion
500 Deer Run
Miami Springs, FL 33166

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