A beloved and spooky Disney attraction is about to get the movie treatment — again!
You might remember the Eddie Murphy-led comedy from the year 2003, but two decades later, more fools have moved into the Haunted Mansion … and they may never move out.
But the real question: Is this room actually stretching? Or am I just sinking into my chair?
Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion.
Jared Leto (as Hat-Box Ghost, voice) “This house is dripping with souls.”
Not the ride, the new movie!
Owen Wilson (as Father Kent): We’re in a fight, whether we like it or not.”
Danny DeVito (as College History Professor): “Or else we’re stuck here for eternity.”
I’m your reporter, your ghost reporter, and I need a break from this voice.
In the spooky comedy, Rosario Dawson plays a single mom who moves into a beautiful new home.
Rosario Dawson: “She bought the mansion sight unseen on Zillow, and there’s a warning for that.”
And has plans to open a bed and breakfast there, with some perks for the family, including…
Rosario Dawson: “Surrounding her son with different people to help her raise him, and it’s haunted.”
Never skip the inspection! Well, to help exercise the place of supernatural squatters, she hires a motley crew of so-called spiritual experts, including Owen Wilson.
Owen Wilson: “I play Father Kent, who is a man of the cloth there in New Orleans, and he’s a little bit of a salesman, where you’re not quite sure if everything he is saying is accurate.”
And LaKeith Stanfield as astrophysicist Ben, who says the story is…
LaKeith Stanfield: “Big and special, but also something that was rooted in a heartfelt story that felt intimate and close to things that I know, and that I know other people know.”
I know the magic kingdom ride, but does Owen?
Owen Wilson: “My experience with the theme park attraction was zero.”
We Disney adults are triggered, and all know that woman in the crystal ball — now played by Jamie Lee Curtis.
Jamie Lee Curtis: “She has been trapped in there for a very long time, and she’s released from it by this young medium, a young Harriet.
Or the ghoulishly delightful Tiffany Haddish.
Tiffany Haddish: “She does have some powers, and she’s very boisterous about it, but she’s not confident in it, until she is guided by the great Madame Leota.”
But they have taken that carriage into the moldering sanctum of the spirit world.
Jamie Lee Curtis: “I’ve been on this attraction at least 40 times.”
And here’s Tiff saying what we were all thinking as kids.
Tiffany Haddish: “Is that a TV in there? Is there – are they really using holograms? Like how did they get these things to float around like this?”
So, enjoy the chilly air of a movie theater, reminiscent of a crypt, if you dare.
Haunted Mansion is creeping into theaters on July 28.
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