The Miami Marlins kicked off the 2023 baseball season Thursday at Loan Depot Park.

Alex: If you were at yesterday’s game against the New York Met’s, when I was invited to throw the first pitch, I’m sorry…
For exceeding expectations. I didn’t send one person to the ER.

The Marlins are back at it.

Alex Miranda: “That is a beauty, baby. That is an absolute beauty.”

Closing their season-opening series against the Mets at Loan Depot park Sunday.

Alex Miranda “The games are so much fun, right? So now, of course, baseball is back.”

David Oxfeld: “It should be a right of passage, so we really want people to come out. And we’re confident that they’ll have a good time, not just on the weekends. We have 81 of them.”

We lost the same day I was asked to throw the first pitch. I hope those aren’t connected.

Alex Miranda: “Yeah, I think it is.”

Win or lose, nothing beats a day at the ballpark.

David Oxfeld: “Groups start at 10 dollars. There’s a price point for everybody.”

Alex Miranda: “That’s where it’s all going to go down, where my career will probably end in a ball of flames.”

They let me have the run of the place.

Alex Miranda: “The best part about being a millionaire marlins player is the free Gatorade.”

But not my wardrobe.

Alex Miranda: “What?”

Tiago: “Really, Alex?”

Alex Miranda: “Team spirit.”

Tiago: I think we got something a little better for your first pitch.

Alex Miranda: “OK. It’s nice. If I have to.”

And with advice from almost everyone in the stadium.

Christian: “Just grab the ball, hold it firmly and just throw it at the guy’s hand.”

And not just any guy; Mascot Billy.

Alex Miranda: “What’s up, g?”

Alex Miranda: “Billy, there’s children here.”

Here goes nothing.

Employee: “Just don’t step on anything white.”

Yeah, didn’t retain any of that information.

But why the mound when you can just go straight to second base?

Nah, that’s too far.

I call this next move the Miami flamingo.

Alright alright, here it is.

Instant replay! Not very strong, but pretty straight. And better than 50 Cent.

There was enthusiastic support in the stands, somewhere.

Alex Miranda: “I think it was my parents.”

DavidOxfled: “I was going to say it was your parents.”

Alex Miranda: “Dad, how did I do?”

Reymundo Miranda: “Aww, you did great!”

David Oxfled: “I was impressed. Now I’m just giving you a hard time. But it was pretty good.”

Alex Miranda: “This one was ehh.”

Reymundo Miranda: “Aww. Well, you made up for it by being entertaining.”

And I scored Billy’s approval. Maybe even for the team.

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