If you went hard on the booze this past holiday season, don’t worry, because Dry January is here. It is a month of recovery from pinot grigio … but at R House in Wynwood, the party keeps going with bottomless mocktails. Top that!
Is your January dry?
Athena Dion: “I am celebrating Dry January this year.”
Alex Miranda: “Lies.”
Guest 1: “I’m about to take a little break and start my year off on a different note.”
Guest 2: “I’m not. Sorry!”
Athena Dion: “I didn’t say that it’s going well, but I am trying.”
[Alex laughs.]
Well, for those of you who are, R House in Wynwood has…
Athena Dion: “A ton of options that you can enjoy with your friends who do drink alcohol and not feel left out of the party.”
Not that you would, anyway, at this world-famous drag brunch.
Guest 3: “There is no shortage of fun at R House, whether you’re drinking or not.”
Four craft mocktails promise a premium experience.
Athena Dion: “We have our Blanco Margarita, which is our mocktail take on the traditional.”
Guest 1: “You can really taste the lime coming through, and the black salt? Chef’s kiss.”
Guest 3: “All the perfect parts of the margarita without the little tingle at the end.”
Alex Miranda: “Meanwhile, I thought the alcohol was the perfect part of the margarita. There’s also a smoky version of that as well.”
Athena Dion: “The Smoky Mango Margarita: lime, mango and bee pollen, honey. It’s gonna get you up and going, baby.”
Guest 4: “Very fruity, and you feel the spicy. I think I feel the alcohol.”
Alex Miranda: “You think they messed the drink up? Maybe there is alcohol in there.”
Guest 4: “Absolutely.”
Athena Dion: “I love a man drinking an old fashioned. You know he is dignified, and there’s no exception when it comes to our non-alcoholic Pathfinder Old Fashioned.”
Guest 5: “It did have the vibe and feel that I was drinking an actual cocktail.”
Alex Miranda: “You were fooled?”
Guest 5: “Yes.”
Athena Dion: “We have our No-groni, so it’s everything you would expect.”
Alex Miranda: “That’s so cute.”
Athena Dion: “Isn’t it cute?”
Alex Miranda: “I love the name.”
Including…
Athena Dion: “Martini Rose Floreal. What’s the [expletive] is this?!”
Alex Miranda: “She’s reading right off the menu, y’all!”
Athena Dion: I feel like this is Vitameatavegamin!”
Athena Dion: “The drink is delicious, and I’m a fan of Negronis, and I couldn’t tell the difference.”
But can you tell the difference in fun?
Athena Dion: “I feel like Dry January gets a bad rep, like, you’re not going to have fun if you’re, like, sober. But I think there’s a lot of ways.”
For example, if you get nervous to socialize sober, Athena says, ask a question.
Athena Dion: “Have you been to R House to try the new mocktails lately?”
Alex Miranda: “Hey! Have you guys heard about the new mocktails at R House??!!”
Guest 2: “So, anyway…”
For dancing, she recommends the leg, thrust and spin.
Athena Dion: “Now, you’ll be doing that one alone.”
But to flirt dry, it’s all in the eye.
Athena Dion: “Give a little look. Give a little wink.”
Alex Miranda: “What’s up?”
Guest 4: “What?”¿Tienes algo en tu ojo?” (“Do you have something in your eye?”)
Alex Miranda: “Uh, no…”
Mocktails can also be ordered bottomless.
Guest 3: “If you’re drinking, not drinking, this is the perfect place.”
Mocktails start at $14.
R House is open Wednesdays through Sundays. Their famous drag brunches are on Saturday and Sunday.
They also have “RuPaul’s Drag Race” watch parties this season every Friday night at 8 p.m.
FOR MORE INFO:
R House Wynwood
2727 NW 2nd Ave.
Miami, FL 33127
rhousewynwood.com
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