With gravy related accidents nearing record highs, Thanksgiving can be a dangerous time in any kitchen. But Alex Miranda has no business being in any kitchen. That is not us talking, that is what the fire inspector told us.

But let’s not dig up the meatloaf massacre. People have suffered enough. Here’s Alex.

I’m gonna show you a special Miranda family recipe, straight from the Miranda family kitchen of yesteryear. Happy Thanksgiving.

We in the Miranda family really enjoy this holiday.

Kelsey Grammer (as Frasier Crane): “The little pop thing has a name. It’s called a thermometer. Now can we all please say thermometer.”

And we have traditions that have stood the test of time. There is a recipe passed down on ancient note cards in this family for hundreds of years, that I’m prepared to make for you today. It’s a turkey based recipe. There are other ingredients involved.

Shirley Caesar: “Beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes, lamb, hams, hogs, dogs, chicken, turkeys, you name it!”

I think it goes back to the pilgrims, to be honest.

William: “Alex, are you Cuban?”

Alex Miranda: “Well, yeah.”

William: “Well, like your whole family?”

Alex Miranda: “Yeah, but I think we have an English uncle. OK, so now we’re really gonna start, we’re going to grab the gorgeous bird. This is our turkey from Publix Greenwise, which I think means it’s healthier, or something like that, fed 100% a vegetarian diet. So that’s great.”

William: “Aren’t you supposed to thaw it out first before we cook it?”

Alex Miranda: “Are you? And stick the turkey inside. Wow!”

William: “Alex, you gotta take it out of the wrapper first.”

Alex Miranda: “Cranberry sauce, our own corn, stuffing, red skin mashed potatoes. I know it’s your favorite.”

William: “Alex, what’s the bag from?”

Alex Miranda: “Wow. Look at this tender carved turkey breast, perfectly seasoned and cooked to juicy perfection, covered in turkey gravy. Ideal for drizzling on turkey stuffing and potatoes and the southern comfort of a traditional pecan.”

William: “There’s no way that you cook this meal that you’re presenting.”

Alex Miranda: “William. I’ve got a little secret, so we’re gonna be fine.”

William: “Denny’s?”

Alex Miranda: “Welcome. I can’t cook. I don’t know how to do any of this. I don’t know how to turn that stove on. What they have a turkey bundle. It made it a lot easier. So sue me. Nobody is gonna find out.”

For more information about Denny’s Thanksgiving Turkey Bundle, click here.

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