Traffic and I-95 go together like peanut butter and jelly, or Lynn and Shireen.
I’m sitting right here! But what if you didn’t have to sit in traffic with all those other cars? What if you could just drive over them?
At Tank America in Melbourne, you can do just that. Well, not on I-95. Not only can you drive a tank — you can crush cars with it.
Chris Van Vliet: “I gotta admit, I haven’t been able to wipe this smile off my face all day and I haven’t even driven one yet!”
John Kinney, owner: “That’s what I was going to say. You think you’re smiling now, wait ’til you drive 18 tons of tank around.”
Yep, 18 tons of tank and at Tank America, anyone can drive one.
Chris Van Vliet: “I can’t believe this is a real thing. How did you come up with this?”
John Kinney: “Well it’s a crazy story. One of my business partners, he called me up one day and he said, ‘Did you know you can buy tanks?’ I said, ‘Well no, but you’ve got my attention.'”
Oh, and you got my attention too. Starting at $350, you too can get behind the wheel of one of these bad boys!
John Kinney: “This is the one that you’re going to be driving.”
Chris Van Vliet: “OK, let me just see here. *knocks on tank* I don’t know what that’s going to do, but that sounds very official.”
John Kinney: “Alright, this is the last thing you’ll need.”
Chris Van Vliet: “OK how do I look?”
We climb in.
Chris Van Vliet: “Alright!”
Get briefed on the controls — and we’re off!
The 3/4-mile trail goes up a hill, over a ditch and it finishes off with a four-foot deep mud hole!
Chris Van Vliet: “That was pretty awesome, but let’s see what kind of power this thing really has. Let’s crush a car.”
Oh yes, you can cap off your tank-driving experience by driving over a car from a local junkyard.
*Chris crushes a car with the tank*
Chris Van Vliet: “Not a bad parking job, right?”
I’m not sure how we can top tank driving, but we can try!
If you have something you’d like to see me try, hit me up with an e-mail at email@example.com.
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Melbourne, FL 32904
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