Chris plays H.O.R.S.E. with Miami Heat guard Josh Richardson

The Heat are great, but you know what could make them greater? If they added Chris to the team — and he got a chance to try out for the team! Our double dribbler is here himself to tell us how it went.

With Dwyane Wade retiring after this year, the Miami Heat are going to need a new star player, and my friends, you are looking at him. Sure, I may not have the height or the basketball skills, but I made a deal with Heat player Josh Richardson that if I can beat him in a game of H.O.R.S.E., I get a spot on the team. You might as well start calling me “Chris Van Heat.”

Chris Van Vliet: “So we’re going to play a game of H.O.R.S.E. today, and if I beat you, I make the team.”

Josh Richardson: “Bet! OK.”

Chris Van Vliet: “I don’t know if this is being too confident, but I went ahead and did this.”

Josh Richardson: “Ohhh, hahaha!”

Josh Richardson: “Next on the lineup, number seven, from Channel 7, Chris Van Vliet!”

Chris Van Vliet: “So Josh, since it’s your court, I think you should go first.”

Josh Richardson: “OK.”

Josh Richardson: “Let’s go left-hand layup. *makes it* Oh.”

Chris Van Vliet: “And I’m right-handed. OK, here we go. *airball* Oh, that’s so bad. Ahhh! OK, ring it up, I got an ‘H.'”

Josh Richardson: “Let’s go from the corner. OK? *swish* There we go! Ohhh, ho ho ho!

Chris Van Vliet: “This is going to be a very quick game.”

Chris Van Vliet: “Does it have to be a swish like yours was?”

Josh Richardson: “No, no, no. It just has to go in. Any means necessary, OK?”

Chris Van Vliet: “*shoots and bricks it* Ohhh! This is not looking good.”

Josh Richardson: “H-O.”

Josh Richardson: “Let’s go over here. *shoots from behind backboard and misses* Oh no!”

Chris Van Vliet: “Alright. Alright. OK. OK.”

Chris Van Vliet: “That means it’s my turn. You gotta copy me! Building a comeback here, Josh. Do you feel it?”

Josh Richardson: “I don’t.”

Chris Van Vliet: “It’s only H-O right now. *shoots and banks it in* Ohhhh! Wow! I actually got it in! *Josh makes the shot* Ohhh, man! No! I can’t do it.”

Chris Van Vliet: Between the legs, OK, but you have to pretend like you lost it and then …*misses* Ahhhh!!”

Josh Richardson: “From the elbow. *makes it*”

Chris Van Vliet: *shoots and misses* Ohhhh!

Josh Richardson: “Let’s go from the logo right here, OK? *misses* Ohhh.”

Chris Van Vliet: “Did you miss that last one on purpose just to give me a chance?”

Josh Richardson: “I did.”

Chris Van Vliet: That’s really nice of you.”

Chris Van Vliet: “How about we go granny style?

Josh Richardson: “I like that.”

Chris Van Vliet: “*granny-style shot misses* Ohhh ho ho ho!”

Josh Richardson: “Free throw line.”

Chris Van Vliet: “OK. Free throw line.”

Josh Richardson: “Eyes closed.”

Chris Van Vliet: “Eyes closed?”

Josh Richardson: *closes eyes, shoots, swishes it*

Chris Van Vliet: “Noooo!”

Chris Van Vliet: “I can’t make those with my eyes open.”

Chris Van Vliet: “*closes eyes and misses shot* Ohhh hooo!”

Josh Richardson: “I don’t think you’re coming back from this shot. Just keep it super simple, alright? Start here, take one dribble. *dunks*”

Chris Van Vliet: “Let’s just compare our height here to show people how implausible this will be.”

Chris Van Vliet: *adjusts chair* Alright, so it’s just one step and then it goes in? *jumps off chair and dunks* Ohhhh!! Does that count?”

Josh Richardson: “That counts.”

Chris Van Vliet: “OK! I’m still in the game!”

Josh Richardson: “I don’t know if you’re going to be able to jump off a chair for this one. *does a reverse dunk* Backwards!”

Chris Van Vliet: “I gotta give it a try. *misses dunk*”

Josh Richardson: “Good game.”

Chris Van Vliet: “Thank you so much. Well, maybe I can try out again next year.”

I think he could tell that I didn’t practice or haven’t played basketball in 10 years.

So what’s next? Hit me up, keepingupwithchris@wsvn.com, and let me know what I should take a shot at next.

So sure, I didn’t make the team this year, but how awesome was it that I got the Heat to agree to let me play a game of H.O.R.S.E. to try to make the team, and also, how about the fact that I dunked on TV?! Boom!

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